If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.
It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.
Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
Fight fire with fire, and all you'll end up with is ashes.
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
Never give a golfer an ultimatum unless you're prepared to lose.
Loneliness is the ultimate poverty
Maturity is: The ability to stick with a job until it's finished; The ability to do a job without being supervised; The ability to carry money without spending it; and The ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even
The less you talk, the more you're listened to.
The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back.
Kissing power is stronger than will power: Girls need to prove their love like a moose needs a hat rack.
People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.
In a letter to Dear Abby a reader complained that a gay couple was <br/>moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to <br/>improve the quality of the neighborhood. <br/>Her suggestion - 'You could move.'
A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.
If you want a place in the sun, you had better be prepared to put up with a few blisters