I study men like I study books: I skim their midsections.
Bauvard
Ground beef can hardly be classified as meat. A pureed animal is an aesthetic ideal.
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When someone hands you a broom, get a few buckets of paint. That is how a janitor becomes an impressionist. If the 19th century French style could improve upon nature, it can make your floor look clean.
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Art always makes life seem so artificial.
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The dandy turns idleness into an art form. The couch potato, into a snack form. But the supreme idler is the couch dandy: his art is superficial flavoring.
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When a person encounters his own statue and takes a hammer to it, performance art adds depth to greatness. When a person encounters his own bust and hacks off his limbs and lower torso, body art sacrifices dimension for greatness.
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The library does wonders for putting the mind in order. Just browsing the catalog, one can partake of an abundance of knowledge without ever having to read a single book.
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JESSICA: When did you last go to London?HUGH: When I read a Dickens novel. That was when I resolved never to travel there.
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I'm writing a book from the perspective of a migrating salmon. I'm titling it 'Stream of Instinct.' The style is low-functioning. While typing, I was diagnosed with autism.
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A writer becomes an author when a hive of editors plagiarizes him. A manuscript becomes a book when neologisms are turned into coinages.
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I prefer a huge tome to a sharp epigram: only blunt words can hurt dull people
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If death petrifies you, do something to ensure your likeness will survive in more than just photographs. Drown yourself in a swamp.
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Death is too inevitable not to defy, life too fearful and uncertain to embrace.
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Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I proved her wrong. I died on my knees, begging for my life.
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Did he die badly?Well..-Hey, so did my father! Our water was undrinkable for weeks.
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