I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy.
Benson Bruno
funny humor challenge people future remember imagine hope books
As long as the inability to find clear values in our absurd lives continues to be unavoidable, war and misery and death will never cease to be highly entertaining.
funny humor entertainment absurdity
Nowadays, all a man can do to be original is to cite the earliest known quote on that subject. Women, though, have no problem being original. In fact, women are always being original. I constantly have to tell my wife to stop talking so much nonsense.
funny gender humor men-and-women originality
I want everyone to throw sugar and cream at each other, then lie about it. I want to attend an ice cream antisocial.
funny humor ice-cream
My bootlegger used up all the whiskey when he went on that drive, but I drank his gasoline before he left. I really should have checked his tank before chugging that bottle.
funny humor alcohol
I don't want my wife to have more sons; the two we have now are too much like her. When we're ready for another child, I'm cloning myself.
funny humor children
One last moment of inspiration is worth more than the most efficient oxygen machine.
funny humor inspiration
I would rather die than be a plumber, but thanks to lead I can do both.
funny humor plumbing
History is an endless repetition of the element of surprise.
funny humor history
Look, a mushroom cloud!Releasing fungus on us, huh? Hold your nose.
funny humor
When someone says something offensive and I want to voice my opinion, I hire a spokesman to beat that person up.
funny humor opinions violence
The word 'no' is important for maintaining one's chastity, but 'porno' is indispensable. I always keep a dirty magazine tucked in my pants to ward off sexual pressure.
funny humor sex chastity virginity
Always be nice to people to their face. Then when they turn around, berate the back of their head.
funny humor politeness
Theists count themselves among the aforementioned. They affirm they will be saved a lot of confusion.
funny humor god
I'm courteous to most, but antisocial among polite society.
funny humor manners
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