Bill Bailey Quotes

This is the news theme, but it sounds like pure Hollywood entertainment. It sounds like E.T. On a horse being chased by Darth Vader, which is something I'd love to see.

sound

I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars.. I'm not bitter at all..

work

Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.

doubt mind

BB: I'm actually from the West Country.. BB: Hypnotized, or actually? What are you doing here? Audience member: I had to come. BB: What do you mean you had to come here? What, you were on some dark purpose? Ch. 4, 07: 38

purpose

It's always been my long-held belief that eventually insects will take over the world.

belief

And the thing is, I'm amazed they went with Obama at all, you know, I mean, I thought Hilary would have been a shoe-in, but no. Apparently America's got an issue with gender, not with race. Huh. So, um..

gender race

Not a very well-known fact, but on planes they always carry a trombone just in case there's a disaster and they need to keep morale up. All cabin crew - fully proficient in the trombone. And of course there's a double facility: if you ditch at sea, it can be used as a snorkel.

disaster

(Imitating a Belarus citizen commenting on their national flag) Stupid National Anthem.. Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit

flag