Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.
Parents are not quite interested in justice, they are interested in quiet.
Children today know more about sex than I or my father did.
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked
The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.
Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.
Why do kids always say peace out, I though peace was in.
The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.
A word to the wise ain't necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think -- in a deeper voice.
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.
Old is always fifteen years from now.
gray hair is gods graffiti
And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.
A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.
It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful.