No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.
When you're doing stand-up, you achieve an intimacy with the audience you can't get on TV. There's not a better feeling in the entire world then when you look out and see the audience is identifying with you.
Jeff Foxworthy Show.
Blue Collar TV
At the Engvalls' home
There's a group in California that wants to make suicide a capital offense punishable by death. That's like punishing someone for being on a hunger strike by sending them to bed with no supper.
On the self-same trip:
Who applies for that job? Who says I want to work in lost luggage? You don't have a good day. That's like having a job emptying port-a-potties. You're just going to catch crap all day long.
Engvall pulls his car into a gas station after his tire goes flat.
As told in the final section of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour Christmas CD:
Engvall: Yesterday, my son was out in the yard playing with his friend, and he hit his friend. I walked up to him, and I said, Hey... (pantomimes hitting his son) We don't hit. He looked at me like, Here's your sign, Dad.
Because we've become so ecologically minded now, they have developed a product called Rapidly Dissolving Toilet Paper. Just how rapidly are we talking? 'Cause I don't want to have to play Beat the Clock in the thicket.
A friend bought two cakes for his wife's birthday, with a 3 on one and an 8 on the other.
I thought RV stood for Recreational Vehicle. No! It stands for Ruins Vacations.
On holiday in Hawaii