NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has shown that half of American high schools agree that newspapers should only be able to publish government-approved material. Almost one out of five said people should not be allowed to voice unpopular opinions..This is the first generation after September 11th, who discovered news during a 'watch what you say' administration...George W. Bush once asked, 'is our children learning.' No, they isn't. A better question would be, 'is our teacher's teaching?'
I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and I was saying, 'Bring back the lip synch.' ...And it struck me that Ashlee Simpson is a lot like George Bush-because she wouldn't even really be in the big leagues if it wasn't for family connections, and she's in way over her head. And she doesn't know what to do. And she blamed her band.
Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of a better time to share one of my favorite children's classics, it's called: How the Grinch Stole the Election. And ah--I'd like to read it to you now, shall we?<br/><br/>Every Jew down in Jew-vile liked elections a lot,<br/>But the Grinch who lived over in Austin did not.<br/>I know they'll be voting for Gore, he was thinking,<br/>By Wednesday--the latest--I'll be back to my drinking.<br/>Election Day came and the voting was close,<br/>At one point the Grinch even started to boast,<br/>'It's the Grinch by a nose!' all the newsmen exclaimed,<br/>Even Dan Rather who was clearly insane.<br/>But was he the winner, hey not so fast--<br/>Al Gore called him up and said, Grinch, kiss my ass!<br/>The race was too tight to say who was elected,<br/>The Grinch was so stressed his face got infected.<br/>All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess,<br/>But Hyman and Hershel and dear old Aunt Bess,<br/>Were too senile to vote for the one that they liked,<br/>They poked the wrong hole and joined the Third Reich.<br/>The Jews down in Jewville took to the streets,<br/>To complain about fraud, not to mention the heat.<br/>The Grinch said something that couldn't be gosher,<br/>'This election my friends, is perfectly kosher.'<br/>Then a judge ruled each vote should be counted by hand,<br/>The Grinch said, 'That's not what my brother Jeb had planned.'<br/>His lawyers filed motions and junctions and writs,<br/>Demanding that Gore and the Jews call it quits.<br/>But just when the Grinch thought the deal had gone through,<br/>He met Cindy Lou Lipshitz, age 92.<br/>'Why?' she cried, 'Did you steal our election?'<br/>The Grinch just laughed and gave her a lethal injection.<br/>They say the Grinch's ego grew 3 sizes that day,<br/>Unfortunately his brain went the opposite way.<br/>So here's a lesson for now and for later,<br/>Dont blame me-- I voted for Nader!