Change is such hard work
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
This guy was so large, he had his own climate.
Gentlemen, start your egos.
Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, 'This is the best I'm ever going to look, the best I'm ever going to feel, the best I'm ever going to do,' and it ain't that great? (from City Slickers)
The reason we are together is because she puts lead in my shoes and doesn't let me fly off the earth. And it's always been that way.
I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.
I had a dream that Connie Chung is doing a newscast about my death and they show a clip from Soap.
People thought this would be an award show -- but we couldn't get anybody to open up the envelopes. I've been backstage at a lot of rock concerts, and I've never seen musicians run away from white powder before!
From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that's what I had to do.
My granddaughter's birth has made me want to create things she will love.