I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.
Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Girls are like slugs. They serve some purpose but it's hard to imagine what.
Don't walk away! I'm trying to apologize you dumb noodleloaf!
Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN!
- I've been thinking Hobbes --<br/>- On a weekend?<br/>- Well, it wasn't on purpose..
Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?
County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when.. Hello?
We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.
-You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. <br/>-What mood is that? <br/>-Last-minute panic.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said, I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?
What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero