If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.
Christopher Moore
People, generally, suck.
funny humor people
There's always a bloody ghost.
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There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.
I love you above all things, even pie.
She's so small, yet she contains so much evil.
Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
funny humor first-sentence
I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
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Joshua's ministry was three years of preaching, sometimes three times a day, and although there were some high and low points, I could never remember the sermons word for word, but here's the gist of almost every sermon I ever heard Joshua give. You should be nice to people, even creeps. And if you: a) believed that Joshua was the Son of God (and)b) he had come to save you from sin (and)c) acknowledged the Holy Spirit within you (became as a little child, he would say) (and)d) didn't blaspheme the Holy Ghost (see c)then you would: e) live foreverf) someplace niceg) probably heavanHowever, if you: h) sinned (and/or)i) were a hypocrite (and/or)j) valued things over people (and)k) didn't do a, b, c, and d, then you were: l) fucked
funny humor speeches
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again.
Let me say right here, if I haven't made it clear, that I have seen as many pale, naked old-man parts in the last twenty-four hours to bruise my delicate psyche for a lifetime, so don't be surprised if you someday find me wandering the moors at midnight, a crazed look in my eye, babbling about albino Tater Tots nesting in Brillo pads and being pursued by sagging man ass, because that shit can happen when you've been traumatized.
I've won Satan's lottery.
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Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
He was a writer and words were his weapons.
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By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.
funny humor stories story
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