Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
I've won Satan's lottery.
Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?
It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death.
Andrew Lloyd Webber's version of the Kool-Aid jingle is at once chilling and evocative. Donny Osmond is brilliant as James Jones.
Turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero.