Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology.
Television is simultaneously blamed, often by the same people, for worsening the world and for being powerless to change it.
It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.
As far as talent goes, Marilyn Monroe was so minimally gifted as to be almost unemployable, and anyone who holds to the opinion that she was a great natural comic identifies himself immediately as a dunce.
Fiction is life with the dull bits left out
A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all
She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.
All television ever did was shrink the demand for ordinary movies. The demand for extraordinary movies increased. If any one thing is wrong with the movie industry today, it is the unrelenting effort to astonish.
Stop worrying / nobody gets out of this world alive.
The British Secret Service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB.
Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.
The literary critic, or the critic of any other specific form of artistic expression, may detach himself from the world for as long as the work of art he is contemplating appears to do the same.
In the Bob Hope Golf Classic, the participation of President Gerald Ford was more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service.
All intellectual tendencies are corrupted when they consort with power.
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
Even in moments of tranquility, Murray Walker sounds like a man whose trousers are on fire.
Whoever called snooker 'chess with balls' was rude, but right.