crooked smile (and say),'You're going over there, huh?' Be careful.' OK, how do you suggest I do that, sir? Look both ways before I cross the Sunni Triangle?
My perception is that Jerry was a stand-up comedian for years and years
If it had just been some femme fatale, I think this whole thing could have been settled. You know, if it had just been like a beautiful woman
TV and movies are boring
We battled well and it was an excellent win.
Honesty buys you nothing at all in this school.
He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.
I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine them.
I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be.
I'm quietly becoming New York's premiere actor. People don't understand. They have me pigeon-holed as a comedian.
People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.
The mistake that people make in stand-up is thinking they're profound or they're deep when there are so many people who have more worthwhile ways of phrasing things.
The only people who like to live alone more than comics are priests.
The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't. You're standing on stage asking people to pay. You don't play an instrument. You want people to pay to hear what's in your mind. You don't have low self-esteem. You might have other problems.
When I look back now I realize I was such an obnoxious kid but, you know, I went to schools like you, like a public school in New York so compared to the anarchy that was going on there, they really wouldn't - I wasn't like a bad kid. I saw people come in and punch the teachers.