Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.
Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?
Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family
If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.
Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos
Marge, old people don't need companionship, they need to be isolated and studied to see what useful nutrients can be obtained from them...
God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion
English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
Bart! With 0,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like love
If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such