Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.?
I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.?
Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.?
To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.?
We danced like an eagle and a dolphin in a blender, and then we made love like those plastic plates with the dividers molded in so the food stays separate and never touches.?
I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.?
I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!?
I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.?
I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated.?
Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.?
I make love like never, only less often.?