That was funny, yet sad. Kind of like getting tit-fucked by a clown.
Florida looks like a gigantic penis! Doesn't it? Have you ever googled it? It looks like a gigantic peener! About to shoot a load of freedom all over Cuba. A bukkake of choices and ideas.
She was drunk so I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out.
I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.
My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.
They have a luggage store at the airport? I mean, how late do you have to be running? Don't worry honey just grab a pile of shit... we'll get a bag at the airport!
So, I travel a lot. I hate traveling, mostly cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.
A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it.
Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.
Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.