Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
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I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.
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If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
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There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.
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I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!
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Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I'm swimming, sometimes I'm not sure which one it is.
fun thetimes time tso-sports