If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
I'm perplexed when people adopt the modish abbreviation Ms., which doesn't abbreviate anything except common sense.
It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.
If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.
Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.
Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing.
I think I have many spenglerian moods about the country, and that some day people will look back and think 'this was a really goofy, unadmirable stupid time.
I don't think you could say now that ABC is crasser than the other two networks. But as long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. It becomes an ever-descending spiral.
It's a wonderful job for people who have never had a nervous breakdown but always wanted one.
The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show... Cops would come by - often just in time to see the act they wanted to see.
Can you picture yourself at the age 60 doing what you do now?
Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.
Years have passed since I have set foot in a comedy club. If the comic is doing badly it's painful, and if the comic is doing brilliantly, it's extremely painful.