In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it's a sport.
We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don't misuse a household pet.
In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don't know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.
I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man
Civil Rights: What black folks are given in the U.S. on the installment plan, as in civil-rights bills. Not to be confused with human rights, which are the dignity, stature, humanity, respect, and freedom belonging to all people by right of their birth.
Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned
No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That's already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.
Momma, a welfare cheater. A criminal who couldn't stand to se her kids go hungry, or grow up in slumbs and end up mugging people in dar corners. I guess the system didn't want her to get off relief, the way it kept sending social workers around to be sure Momma wasn't trying to make things better.
And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
I wouldn't mind paying taxes - if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.
We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn't it either. I'm going to be an American Citizen. First class.