The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.
Babies are such a nice way to start people
Golf is not sacred, and there is no use getting so gosh-darned solemn about it.
Moralizing and morals are two entirely different things and are always found in entirely different people
There is more sophistication and less sense in New York than anywhere else on the globe.
Poverty must have its satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor people
Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.
Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we should never need solace
Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow
Golf may be a hussy, but I love her.
Don't ever slam a door; you might want to go back
There is nothing so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have
A humorist is a man who feels bad but feels good about it
Work is the greatest thing in the world. So we should save some of it for tomorrow.
Poverty must have many satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor people.
If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.
There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.
The beggar is the only person in the universe not obliged to study appearance.