The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
Doug Larson
Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.
responsibility
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
feel spring
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
listening life wisdom lifetime talk reward
The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's only one other choice.
choice people reason blame things generations
For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
sleep work hard beat left
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.
politics quality life wisdom
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
marriage age survive worse
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.
good person child understand give
Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enought to know they were impossible.
people smart impossible
man friend cat
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
life age people fishing things important
There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 AM. It could be the right number.
wrong things call worse
An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears the same may be true.
true fears worlds
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
age language sense flowers english made
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
car labor theend end day cars americaandamericans
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