Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if anybody's home.
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, What light? and two more to say, I didn't turn it on.
All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.