Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?
A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded gun on your coffee table- There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about.
That's the news from Lake Woebegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.
Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth breather there is.
Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.
If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust?
I want to resume the life of a shy person.
Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then.
If the government can round up someone and never be required to explain why, then it's no longer the United States of America as you and I always understood it. Our enemies have succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. They have made us become like them.
A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.
I think if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world for all of us.
Lake Wobegon, where smart doesn't count for so much. A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
It's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, my home town, out on the edge of the prairie..