Dallas popped his jaw. I do not cackle. I bitch like a he-man.
Gena Showalter
What makes big boobs and perkiness so attractive to boys? I mean, really. Two round, mounds of fat and a fake smile. Yeah, winning attributes.
funny life smile boys winning fake big fat attractive
Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date. 1. You're wearing that? 2. Something smells funny. 3. Where's the Tylenol? 4. And to think, I first wanted to date your brother. 5. I have a confession to make 6. My dad has a suit just like that. 7. That man is hot. Look at him. 8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever 9. You're going to order that? Seriously? 10. You're how old?
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I don't hate you. I just don't like that you exist
funny hate hatred exist dislike
Every night death came, slowly, painfully, and every morning Maddox awoke in bed, knowing he'd have to die again later. That was his greatest curse and his eternal punishment.
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No one could ever truly be free as long as they loved, and life wasn't worth living without love. So freedom? Overrated.
freedom
Leap out the window, my inner Tigress cried. You aren't ready to face such a powerful Tiger. I frowned. I thought a true Tigress never backed down from a fight. Don't you know anything? When she's in heat, she avoids everything male. Now run!
funny
CPR dummy looked like him and had clearly been stabbed. Repeatedly. In the groin. He thought she might have used the dummy for target practice, and tried not to be offended. Key word: tried.
funny humor
Um i'm happy to sit close to you and everything, but i had no idea you would like it so much,' Paris muttered.
To answer your question, you want me because I'm made of awesome.
What was worse, he couldn't tell her how much he thought he maybe might kinda sorta love her.
If only Paris and the Harpies had gotten along. But Promiscuity had taken one look at the beautiful women and deemed them too much effort.
funny humor promiscuity
Yes, men are pigs. Except your brother, of course. He's actually a decent human being. Almost a woman.-Jillian's mother
funny humor men romance
Apparently, dancing for him and throwing herself at him weren't enough. Apparently, she had to nearly commit murder to arouse him enough to attack her.
funny humor romance seduction
The lamp tipped over, nailing Kane in the head. Sabin shook his head. The man was a walking disaster Literally. Whenever Kane stepped into a room, things went to hell pretty quickly. Sabin expected the ceiling to cave in any moment. And yea, it had happened before.
funny humor disaster
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