Explaining why had turned down an invitation to a vegetarian gala dinner
The thought of two thousand people munching celery at the same time horrified me.
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If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience.
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Animals are my friends.. And I don't eat my friends.
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A photographer is like a cod, which produces a million eggs in order that one may reach maturity.
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A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.
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We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
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If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
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My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
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When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
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Pasteboard pies and paper flowers are being banished from the stage by the growth of that power of accurate observation which is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it..
Think of the fierce energy concentrated in an acorn! You bury it in the ground, and it explodes into an oak!
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I fought linotype and monotype for some time because it would not justify as well as handset could be made to do; but at last, as always happens, the machine outdid the hand, and got all the best types on it.
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