When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
One of the greatest problems today is about the people who would rather be right than be President. I have a solution for that. You can be Left and President: that way you can eat your cake and halve it too. Or you can stay in the middle of the road and get run over.
Let's all pull together and make these United States the grandest place in this whole country. I see a vision. A glorious vision. A united people, marching forward shoulder to shoulder, giving their all for the common good, working while I whistle.
As a well-known great man would have said if he had thought of it, Don't go around offending people just because it can be done sitting down.
Social Progress is not one of my goals. This country is not a social climber, and besides, the Treasury knows too many people already, if you know what I mean. So vote early and often. Don't wait until Election Day. I may have found other work by then. Do it now!
This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.
I read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First, I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whatever end I like best.
Cultivate friendships. If you don't have time to cultivate all of them, plow under every fifth one and collect your bonus.
I'm having my platform run up by a movie set designer, so it will be very impressive from the front, but not too premanent. After all, there's no sense putting a lot of time and thought into something you'll have no use for after you're elected.
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
You're the only boy who ever made me cry, and I decided that if you could make me cry, I must really love you.
I think there's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about.
Brains, integrity, and force may be all very well, but what you need today is Charm. Go ahead and work on your economic programs if you want to, I'll develop my radio personality.
Never place a period where God has placed a comma.