Maxim 11: Everything is air-droppable at least once.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Howard Tayler
Captain, I'm fairly unique among artificial intelligences. I am FREE.I work for you because I want to. I fly your ship for you because I enjoy it. I am compelled to accept orders only by my conscience. This makes me an equal with the rest of your troops. They aren't hard-wired to obey you, yet they'll follow you to the ends of the Universe.-Ennesby
military loyalty freedom
Maxim 3: An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
funny military humour rules-to-live-by
Maxim 29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
funny enemies caution humour rules-to-live-by
Where's your sense of adventure?It died under mysterious circumstances. My sense of self-preservation found the body, but assures me it has an airtight alibi.-Captain Tagon
funny self-preservation humour
Judging by the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that.-Sergeant Schlock
funny violence panic gun humour
Right now I've got just two rules to live by. Rule one: don't taunt elephants. Rule two: don't stand next to anybody who taunts elephants.-Sergeant Schlock
funny rules humour rules-to-live-by elephant
The Tausennigan Ob'enn warlords look like cuddly teddy-bears?Yes, they do, and they'd cheerfully exterminate your entire race for making that observation!I guess that explains their rich military history, then.-Ennesbey
funny military contradictions artificial-intelligence humour
Maxim 8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
funny sci-fi mockery humour rules-to-live-by
Spy' is such a short ugly word. I prefer 'espionage.' Those extra three syllables really say something.-Petey
funny espionage vocabulary humour spy
As long as we only have to lie to the enemy, it's honest enough for me.-Captain Tagon
funny honesty military enemy humour
Maxim 36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
funny military humour
Maxim 4: Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Maxim 16: Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
funny names teeth humour rules-to-live-by
Maxim 6: If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
funny violence humour rules-to-live-by
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