Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Growing old is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
It is not rejection itself that people fear, it is the possible consequences of rejection. Preparing to accept those consequences and viewing rejection as a learning experience that will bring you closer to success, will not only help you to conquer the
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
Gags die, humor doesn't
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Modesty is my best quality
Thug: This is a stickup! Now come on. Your money or your life.
Thug: Look, bud, I said 'Your money or your life.
Bob Hope: When you ask this kid for a loan, and he says his money is tied up, he isn't kidding. This is an obstacle course for pickpockets.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Marilyn Monroe: What about the difference in our ages?
Rochester: It would help if you bleed a little.
Don Wilson: I don't think you know how much it means to me to do the commercial. After all I'm not a funny man. I can't sing or dance. I don't lead a band. What are you paying me for?
Clyde: You're telling me. What about those first three nights, we had to light fires to keep the animals away.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Clyde: I knew as soon as we got off the freeway, we'd run into trouble.
Jack: When they laugh at one of my jokes... it just gets me right here.
Rochester: Yes, that's the spot all right. You almost had a heart attack when they laughed at Bob Hope.
Jack: Darn right I am.
Bob Hope: Let's not do any jokes we didn't plan on, eh.
Bob Hope: I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor at a P.T.A. meeting.