When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'
Every mans dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.
I've had great success being a total idiot.
People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.
We're leaving the House to people who either were born with a silver spoon in their mouth.. Or couldn't get better jobs in the first place.
I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope.
When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt in front of an audience.
A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.