I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks
Joe E. Lewis
Source: Wikipedia
I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
technology play
funny diet days drinking lost eating dieting heavy
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.
funny water dirty
You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.
rights life work live living
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
drink distrust
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
lie drunk
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
diet tired doctor
It pays to get drunk with the best people.
people drunk
You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.
rights work young
I drink to forget I drink.
forget drink
Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.
rights wrongs people thetimes time genius wrong thing
I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.
man drink
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
marriage money taxes
I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
money
It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.
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