I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.
You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
It pays to get drunk with the best people.
You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.
I drink to forget I drink.
Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.
I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.