Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
beauty
I'd felt that a man without a woman was like a neck without a pain
menandwomen
I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
gay-marriage kinky-friedman marriage rest rights tso-funny
If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.
humorous inspirational tso-funny tso-life
I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.
detective-novels tso-funny
Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.
entertainment humour people tso-funny
You gotta find what you like and let it kill you.
inspirational
The best fiction is true.
fiction humor on-fiction truth tso-funny
You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that.
awesome
These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable.
people
Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.
home people
Young people are the key to this election.
key people
A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life.
tso-life
I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.
No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.
change tso-life
The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.
You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.
I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.
money tso-love
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!
war
If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.
thetimes time
Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.
experience politics
We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.
education race thepublic
The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.
system
Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.
work