I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
Lewis Grizzard
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
life team dog
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
opportunity life game games football problems fears
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
funny woman find married house give
Chilli dawgs always bark at night.
food
The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.
funny humor drinking commercialism
On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.
new-york-city
If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
change
family
The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one.
mistakes the-public
Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
women
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