Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet
We're all in this alone.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
For fast acting relief, try slowing down
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library.
Remember we're all in this alone
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
The road to success is always under construction
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.
Just remember, we're all in this alone.
No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.