Why can't we love the right people? What is so wrong with us that we rush into situations to which we are manifestly unsuited, which will hurt us and others? Why are we given emotions which we cannot control and which move in exact contradiction to what we really want? We are walking conflicts, internal battles on legs.
Marian Keyes
It was ironic, really - you want to die because you can't be bothered to go on living - but then you're expected to get all energetic and move furniture and stand on chairs and hoist ropes and do complicated knots and attach things to other things and kick stools from under you and mess around with hot baths and razor blades and extension cords and electrical appliances and weedkiller. Suicide was a complicated, demanding business, often involving visits to hardware shops. And if you've managed to drag yourself from the bed and go down the road to the garden center or the drug store, by then the worst is over. At that point you might as well just go to work.
funny humor life work death suicide
They say the path of true love never runs smooth. Well, Luke and my true love's path didn't run at all, it limped along in new boots that were chafing its heels. Blistered and cut, red and raw, every hopping, lopsided step, a little slice of agony.
funny
Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.
women funny relationships humour
When happiness makes a guest appearance in one's life, it's important to make the most of it. It may not stay around for long and when it has gone wouldn't it be terrible to think that all the time one could have been happy was wasted worrying when the happiness would be taken away.
happiness
Waiting to be 'better' is the wrong approach. It's learning to live with it.
depression inspirational recovery hope
What doesn't kill us makes us funnier.
funny humor stories paraphrased
I love Prada. Not so much the clothes, which are for malnourished thirteen-year-olds, but I covet, with covety covetousness, the shoes and handbags. Like, I LOVE them. If I was given a choice between world peace and a Prada handbag, I'd dither. (I'm not proud of this, I'm only saying.)
women funny fashion humour
I had spent my whole life feeling homesick. The only difference between the two of us was that I didn't know what or where home was.
life home sad
hurt contradictions
Relationship gurus always said that an attraction based on friendship and mutual respect was far more likely to stay the course - and the bastards were right.
relationships
I forced myself to stop thinking about it. I went to the room in my brain where all my thoughts about Adam lived and disconnected the electricity and boarded up all the doors and windows, so nothing could get out. Obviously it was very unsightly. There were bound to be complaints from the neighboring thoughts. But I had no choice.
funny humor thoughts
So I'm back again to the eternal question, the one that has plagued me all my life: How Do Other People Do It? How come they were given life's rule book and I missed out? Where was I when God was dispensing capability and cop on? Looking at shoes, probably.
women funny humor life
.. As you know, I don't believe in fear, just an invention by men so they get all the money and good jobs..
funny gender humor fear
I'd rather eat nothing than eat a carrot.
funny humor food
It was only when the salt water of my tears ran into my cuts and made them stingthat I discovered I was crying.
sadness
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