A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Laughter is an instant vacation
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.