I think the very word stalking implies that you're not supposed to like it. Otherwise, it would be called 'fluffy harmless observation time'.
Molly Harper
funny humor labels stalking
I am your sire. I am to guide you through your first days as a vampire. Your first feeding is a rite of passage, a sacrament. It will not be wasted on some hormone-driven frenzy. This is why I wanted you to feed from me.I will not drink it in a house, I will not drink it with a mouse. I will not drink ithere or there, I will not drink it anywhere, I wheezed, hoping I was able to communicate adequate sarcasm through the crippling belly cramps. Did you just quote Green Eggs and Ham?
funny humor vampire hungry
To say I had some pent-up anger would be like saying Britney Spears had minor impulse-control issues.
funny humor anger
It felt like life had thrown a pie right in my face. And that pie was full of bricks.
funny humor life
Wait, Richard Cheney, as in Dick Cheney? You're a vampire named Dick Cheney? Somehow, that makes you seem more evil.
funny humor vampires
Does Hallmark make a Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner card? I settled for How much do you remember?
funny humor vampires sarcasm apology
The scent of growth, quiet and green, hung heavy in the air. I heard everything. I saw everything. I could count the craters on the moon. I could count every mosquito buzz past, bypassing my tender skin out of respect for a fellow bloodsucker.
funny humor vampire
There's an inverse relationship between my temper and my ability to control my accent. If you hear me say 'Fiddledeedee', run for the hills, because I'm getting ready to take out bystanders.
funny humor werewolf
Instead of celebrating with a cake (too full of poisonous refined sugars) and presents (too materialistic), my mother would come into my room at exactly 3: 57 A.M. To tell me the story of my miraculous emergence into this world, as if it was some fairy tale. Although I supposed few fairy tales involved the words 'vaginal flowering'.
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