Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.
I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.
Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.
If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.
People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?
Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me. I like being alone in a room. It's almost a form of meditation- an investigation of my own life. It has nothing to do with I've got to get another play
I felt like writing about a time when I was probably, and I think all of us are, the happiest in our lives-before the obligations start in.
Never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity.
When its 100 degrees in New York, it's 72 in Los Angeles. When its 30 degrees in New York, in Los Angeles it's still 72. However, there are 6 million interesting people in New York, and only 72 in Los Angeles.
You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.
There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.
Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.
If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.
If you can go through life without ever experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet. And if you've gone through pain and think you know exactly why, you haven't examined all the options.
Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.