If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.
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Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands.
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The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
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One's real life is often the life that one does not lead.
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I have nothing to declare except my genius.
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It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.
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Seriousness is the last refuge of the shallow.
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Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman
Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
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I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
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I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
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No good deed goes unpunished.
To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
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There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.
