And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
brains marriage
There is, of course, this to be said for the Omnibus Book in general and this one in particular. When you buy it, you have got something. The bulk of this volume makes it almost the ideal paper-weight. The number of its pages assures its posessor of plenty of shaving paper on his vacation. Place upon the waistline and jerked up and down each morning, it will reduce embonpoint and strengthen the abdominal muscles. And those still at their public school will find that between, say, Caesar's Commentaries in limp cloth and this Jeeves book there is no comparison as a missile in an inter-study brawl.
books usefulness
This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers.
books brain-power intelligence literature mental-power reading simplemindedness
One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to remember, in one of his works, which for the time being has slipped my mind, which hits off admirably this age-old situation.
books humour knowledge-wisdom memory tso-funny
As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
death depression humor tso-funny undertakers
I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.
fate humor pessimism tso-funny
Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
cheating fate humor misfortune top-8 tso-funny unfairness
Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.
friendship
Great pals we've always been. In fact there was a time when I had an idea I was in love with Cynthia. However, it blew over. A dashed pretty and lively and attractive girl, mind you, but full of ideals and all that. I may be wronging her, but I have an idea that she's the sort of girl who would want a fellow to carve out a career and what not. I know I've heard her speak favourably of Napoleon. So what with one thing and another the jolly old frenzy sort of petered out, and now we're just pals. I think she's a topper, and she thinks me next door to a looney, so everything's nice and matey.
friendship humor tso-funny
There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
friendship literature
Lady Glossip: Mr. Wooster, how would you support a wife? Bertie Wooster: Well, I suppose it depends on who's wife it was, a little gentle pressure beneath the elbow while crossing a busy street usually fits the bill.
tso-funny
This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.
humor jeeves tso-funny wooster
The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.
humor tso-funny tso-love
Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
hair humor redheads tso-funny
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
classic-insult humor intelligence people stupidity tso-funny
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
apologies apologizing humor people taking-advantage tso-funny
I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
bad-mood disgruntlement humor tso-funny
Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
disappointment humor moroseness russia satire sorrow tolstoy tso-funny
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
humor tso-funny
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
depression humor melancholy tso-funny wit
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose.
childhood humor tso-funny writing
If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.
humor selfishness tso-funny
I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
hero humor imperfect tso-funny
You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
humor nietzsche tso-funny
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
guns humor hunting perspective shooting tso-funny