The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.
P.G. Wodehouse
As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight.
funny humor appearance death depression sight
I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.
funny humor fate pessimism
Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
funny humor fate cheating misfortune unfairness
Great pals we've always been. In fact there was a time when I had an idea I was in love with Cynthia. However, it blew over. A dashed pretty and lively and attractive girl, mind you, but full of ideals and all that. I may be wronging her, but I have an idea that she's the sort of girl who would want a fellow to carve out a career and what not. I know I've heard her speak favourably of Napoleon. So what with one thing and another the jolly old frenzy sort of petered out, and now we're just pals. I think she's a topper, and she thinks me next door to a looney, so everything's nice and matey.
funny humor friendship
This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.
funny humor
Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
funny humor hair
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.
funny humor intelligence people stupidity classic-insult
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
funny humor people apologies
I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
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In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
funny humor depression wit melancholy
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose.
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If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.
funny humor selfishness
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