Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.
Richelle Mead
funny humor friendship enemies true romance friend immortal protect
When we were almost to the other campus, I felt the weird nausea hit me. I called a warning to Christian, just as a Strigoi grabbed him. But Christian was fast. Flames wreathed the Strigoi's head. He screamed and released Christian, trying frantically to put the flames out. The Strigoi never saw me coming with the stake. The whole thing took under a minute. Christian and I exchanged looks. Yeah. We were badasses.
funny humor warning weird vampire-academy rose head christian thing
Your.. Your aura. It's.. Amazing. It's shining. I mean, it always shines, but today.. Well I've never seen anything like it. I didn't expect that after everything that happened.'I shifted around uncomfortably. If I lit up around Dimitri normally, what on earth happened to my aura post-sex?
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I had a standing agreement with god. I'd agree to believe in him, barely, so long as he let me sleep in on Sundays.
funny humor beliefs atheist god
A gun. I had been brought down by a gun. It was practically comical. Cheaters, I thought.
funny humor rose-hathaway
Yeah? Can you draw a skeleton riding a motorcycle with flames coming out of it? And I want a pirate hat on the skeleton. And a parrot on his shoulder. A skeleton parrot. Or maybe a ninja skeleton parrot? No, that would be overkill. But it'd be cool if the biker skeleton could be shooting some ninja throwing stars. That are on fire.
funny humor adrian-ivashkov
Sex had been amazing, but it wasn't a magical cure for everything. Damn. Somewhere along the way, I'd picked up common sense.
It was a lame excuse, and I knew that wasn't the reason he was canceling. If he wanted to avoid me, I would have preferred he made up something about how he and the other guardians had to up Moroi security or practice top-secret ninja moves.
funny humor
Things on the essential list: vodka, Nine Inch Nails, a steady supply of mortal men, and an all-purpose bitchy attitude.
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It was impossible to get the Dimitri and Tasha thing out of my head, but at least packing and getting ready made sure I didn't devote 100 percent of my brain power to him. More like 95 percent.
You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other.
funny humor sarcasm
If not for me being stoned and clinging to a taco, it would have been terribly romantic.
funny humor romance
I left the clinic in a daze that had nothing to do with my head injury. Clear up in a week or so? How could Dr. Olendzki speak so lightly about this? I was going to look like a mutant for Christmas and most of the ski trip. I had a black eye. A freaking black eye. And my mother had given it to me.
But I did die once. (I don't recommend it.)
Your wit is always such a delight, Mr. Zeklos. I can barely contain myself around it.
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