I had a problem. I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem..I don't know who to thank!
I had a girlfriend that was so fat she wore a CROSS YOUR THIGHS bra.
I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had her own postal code.
I had a girlfriend that was so fat she had a dress with a sign on the back saying.. Caution Wide Load.
I had a girlfriend that was so fat her bikini was made out of two bed sheets.
I had a girlfriend that was so fat her belly button made an echo.
I got myself good this morning too. I did my push ups in the nude.. But I didn't see the mouse trap.
I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. She said.. Why should I.. You never put out for me.
I asked her if she enjoys a cigarette after sex. She said.. No, one drag is enough.
I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
Good crowd.. Good crowd. I'm telling you I could use a good crowd. I'm OK now but last week I was in rough shape.. Why? I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
For two hours.. Some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.
At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open. Boy.. What a present he gave me!
And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy..I'd have nothing to play with!
I went to the doctor because I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.