I have three kids, one of each.
One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out.
Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.
My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alkaseltzer.
My wife has to be the worst cook. Her specialty is indigestion.
My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat.
My wife has to be the worst cook. I don't believe meatloaf should glow in the dark
Once I opened up a fortune cookie and inside was the guy's cheque next to me I said hey buddy I got your cheque he said thanks
At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.
Boy were we poor, if I wasn't born a boy I would of had nothing to play with.
When I was born the doctor turned me upside down and said, my god twins
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy. I told him I want a second opinion. He said okay you're ugly too.
His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blow onion rings.
He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.
I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me.. What'll you have? I said.. Surprise me. He showed me a naked picture of my wife.