I went to see my doctor. Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me? He said, I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.
I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking the owner, how big I'd get.
When I was born... The doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, I'm very sorry. We did everything we could... He still pulled through.
My mother never breastfed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
It's been a rough day. I got up this morning... Put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up by briefcase and the handle came off. Now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
We were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with.
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face.. Turned me over and said. Look.. Twins!
When I was born. The doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father..I'm very sorry. We did everything we could.. But he pulled through.
What a dog I got. His favorite bone is in my arm!
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.
They say.. Love thy neighbor as thy self.. What am I supposed to do? Jerk him off too?
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.
One year they wanted to make me poster boy. For birth control.