My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
When my old man wanted sex... my mother would show him a picture of me.
When I was born the doctor slapped my mother.
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
I was so ugly...my mother used to feed me with a sling shot!
I knew a girl that was so ugly that... her mother ripped in two when she had her.