If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
funny humor isolationism political-philosophy politics
Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash.(Said to President Bush at the White House Correspondents Dinner)
funny humor politics
My guest Newt Gingrich shut down the government during the Clinton administration. I'll ask him when it's gonna start working again.
bill-clinton funny government-shutdown humour newt-gingrich politics twitter united-states
NC passed law against global warming science, therefore it's not happening. So I'm ignoring Twitter's 140-character limit, so it's not happ
climate-change-denial funny global-warming humour law north-carolina politics right-wing-politics twitter
It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.
funny humour mitch-mcconnell politics twitter united-states united-states-congress
Senator John Kyle claiming that over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Stephen Colbert: Over 90 percent, that is unbelievable.. In that it is not true. Only 3 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Kyle just rounded it up to the nearest 90.
colbert funny gop humor politics republicans
I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.
politics
I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come here, and at the same time ask them to leave.
Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.
politics twitter united-states united-states-elections-2012
There hasn't been a scandal this big at the C.I.A. Since (CLASSIFIED) committed (CENSORED) to (REDACTED).
david-petraeus journalism media petraeus-scandal politics sex sex-scandals twitter united-states
Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.
What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!