You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.
I believe in eight of the ten commandments; and I believe in going to church every Sunday unless there's a game on
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
Love is a promise delivered already broken.
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress
A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
I gave my cat a bath the other day. . .they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, if was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that. . .
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.