What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
Now let's repeat the non-conformists' oath: I promise to be different! (audience repeats) I promise to be unique! (audience repeats) I promise not to repeat things other people say! (audience repeats, laughs) Good!
You know, a lot of people come to me and they say, Steve, how can you be so fucking funny? There's a secret to it, it's no big deal. Before I go out, I put a slice of bologna in each of my shoes. So when I'm on stage, I feel funny.
People come up to me and say Steve, what is film editing? And I say How should I know? You're the director.