You will bring yourself the suffering you need to bring yourself so that you may awaken.
It is the rub that polishes the jewel, Enso Roshi says. Nobody ever gets to nirvana without going through samsara. Nobody ever gets to heaven, without going through hell. The center of all things, the truth, is surrounded by demons.
Life gives you exactly what you need to awaken.
Can you allow yourself to be impaled on the present moment?